I was a guest on Too Old For This Sh*T Podcast hosted by Angie S.
This episode’s topic is about Did You Just Gaslight Me?
[WARNING: This can be a very triggering episode, if you experience any unease from this, please contact a local mental health helpline or a Trauma Trained Therapist ]
Shannon Higgins, a Licensed Professional Counselor is herself a survivor to thriver of narcissistic abuse from her ex-husband, this took place well after she specialized in her field of abuse. This can truly happen to anyone.
Have you been told you’re insecure, crazy and jealous,and started to doubt your own reality and sanity? Did they insult you and follow it up with “it’s only a joke, you’re too sensitive!“? Well then you’ll want to listen to this, we go over:
- What is a narcissist? There’s a spectrum, including the healthy kind.
- What is gaslighting?
- I read your submission of real life gaslighting stories both at the beginning & at the end of the episode.
- You don’t have to have had a toxic childhood to be a target of gaslighting
- Not all gaslighters are narcissists, they can simply be toxic people but not actual narcissists.
- Is gaslighting always intentional, even when parents do it?
- How & why people become gaslighters
- How to deal with a gaslighting parent
- Complex PTSD
- Why we think it’s our fault when we’re being gaslighted
- The signs that you’re being gaslighted
- The Human Magnet & Trauma Bonding Syndromes
- Why gaslighters thrive on targeting successful people
- Abuse amnesia and cognitive dissonance
- The importance of not throwing the label out ‘just because’ someone doesn’t cater to our every whim or just isn’t a very good communicator as it invalidates those who really go through such a destructive ordeal of being emotionally abused and vilifies those who simply lack a skill but aren’t malicious.
- The difference between pushing back because we are secure versus gaslighting
- Why some find it harder to ask and express what they need which in turns enables a toxic relationship
- What specialist therapies Shannon recommends if you suffered from an abusive relationship (be it intimate or from a parent)
- It doesn’t always look like a big deal (but it is!) & why the outside world does not understand your situation and often blame the victim to be the instigator.
If you like this episode why not try: 27. Is it a Panic Attack or Chest Pains? with Jordan
For current therapies, you can look up a Trauma Trained Therapist that uses one or a combo of these therapies:
- Brainspotting; it’s phenomenal and has long term benefits
- Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
- Somatic Experiencing Therapy
Shannon’s recommended resources:
- “Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths and Other Toxic People” & “Whole Again” Jackson MacKenzie
- “Why Does He Do That?” Lundy Bancroft
- “Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse” Shannon Thomas, LCSW
- “The Empath’s Survival Guide” Judith Orloff, M.D.
- “In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People” George K. Simon, Ph.D
- “Shadow Daughter: A Memoir of Estrangement” Harriet Brown (about a daughter with a mom who has a personality disorder)
- “Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists” Sandra Brown, M.A.
- “The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden, Emotional and Psychological Abuse” Debbie Mirza
- “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” Pete Walker, M.A.